RAID.
as of late, my home has become infested with cockroaches.
now now, calm down. i don’t mean “they’re advancing on me in a wall of inescapable, multi-legged, doom” sort of infestation. more of a “when i go to the bathroom and/or kitchen at night, the bastards are everywhere” sort of infestation.
which is totally different.
we’ve done everything to stop them. cleaned like a british woman on speed, smote and smote (which i pre-or-as-sume is the past tense of smite) like god on a good day.
all to no avail.
so last night, i pulled out the big guns.
in one of my nightly beverage runs, i spotted a few crawling on the kitchen floor. maneuvering past them with all the skill of a scandinavian contortionist named katya or some shit, i got the newly bought can of raid from under the kitchen sink.
and i killed the bastards.
i killed them good.
in less revealing-my-heretofore-unknown-sadistic-side-news, i went to see a free showing of “i am legend” at the movie experience last night. sam told me that it was in imax, so i was especially filled with the jollies.
by, in imax, i suppose they meant “stretching the non-imax image to fit an imax screen.”
which they did.
the quality was still good, but i was swarming with vigilante consumerist hate as a matter of principle and unnecessity.
which i immediately expressed through the consumption of skittles and lack of actually, you know, doing anything.
my dad picked us up, and we eventually made our way through a sea of fourth of july disneyland tourists.
i never really liked disneyland. i mean, its okay, and a great way to see…..disney stuff, but i always feel a tinge of pity for out of towners expecting something magical.
in other news, i make a mean cold coffee.
that i do.
1 year ago